420 ftw
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
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