Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
