If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
