walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
