NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i used baking grease as lip gloss
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Randomize
