Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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