I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
he thought i was a dude.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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