We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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