I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
