Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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