my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
