Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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