I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
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We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
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Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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