Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
