He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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