Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
