We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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