When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
So many bounce houses so little time
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
