I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Randomize