My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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