butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize