There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
