The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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