ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
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