Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
you inspire me to be a worse person
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
