Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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