You smell like stripper and shame
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
