used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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