So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
