She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
