He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
