I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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