Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
