im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
His hands were made for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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