come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Randomize