you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
