Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
