so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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