We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
