Little spoons don't ask big questions
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
