she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
