i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
