Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
