new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
