I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
