I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
