Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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