tell your sister to shave her snatch
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
