So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
