What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
