Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
