He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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