would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
