I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
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8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
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It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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