you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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