Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize