Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
