you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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