The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
