he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
