I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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