just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
