i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
