once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I intend to get homeless drunk
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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